“Aapko ghar ka kaunsa kona pasand hai?”— what began as a simple question during a conversation with young women (17–24 years) in Kalyanpuri soon unfolded into something much deeper.
After giving it a lot of thought, some young women hesitantly mentioned “bed ka kona,” “darwaaze wala kona,” “pillar ke paas,”or “mandir wala kona.” However, it was one response shared by a young woman which quietly shifted the mood in the room: “ghar ka koi kona pasand nahi hai.” Several other young women echoed this thought, and even during moments that turned tense, there was a sense that this was all part of everyday life—roz roz ki baat—something so familiar that even heavier thoughts were met with casual laughter.
But the conversation was never really about physical corners alone. The question was meant to understand where young women feel emotionally safe - where they feel less watched over, less judged, and more like themselves. While some corners brought temporary relief, many young women shared that for them the real safe space is with “friends and sisters,” where they feel heard and can speak openly without fear of judgement.
A phrase that repeatedly came up was, “Badi ho gayi ho.” However, this statement often comes with restrictions rather than freedom. When young women are seen as “grown up,” they begin to face increased pressure around marriage, household responsibilities, and limitations on mobility. At the same time, there is a contradiction that they are considered mature enough to take on responsibilities, yet too young when it comes to making decisions about their own lives.
Social pressure, often expressed through “log kya kahenge,” continues to shape their choices around education, work, and independence. Concerns around safety also tend to place the burden on young women themselves. Restrictions are imposed on where they go, how long they stay out, or who they speak to, instead of addressing the conditions that make public spaces unsafe in the first place. Care and control often become deeply intertwined, with restrictions justified in the name of protection and safety. This makes it difficult for young women to question these boundaries, because any resistance is often labelled as disrespect, carelessness, or a rejection towards the family.
Despite these challenges, there is a strong sense of aspiration among these young women. They want to study, work, travel, become independent, and have a say in decisions that affect their lives. Many are already taking small but significant steps like negotiating with their families to pursue education and continue jobs, speaking up against harassment, and building support systems among peers.
Their demands are clear - they seek choice, freedom, safety, and trust. Young women are not just searching for a safe corner within their homes, but for a world where they don’t have to struggle for space at all. Perhaps ‘Ghar ka koi bhi kona pasand nahi aana’is less about disliking the space itself, and more about whether young women are allowed to claim that space with freedom, respect and choice.
"Ghar ka koi kona pasand nahi hai”: Young Women and the Search for Space
by InstituteofSocialStudiesTrust
Jun 25
“Aapko ghar ka kaunsa kona pasand hai?”— what began as a simple question during a conversation with young women (17–24 years) in Kalyanpuri soon unfolded into something much deeper.
After giving it a lot of thought, some young women hesitantly mentioned “bed ka kona,” “darwaaze wala kona,” “pillar ke paas,”or “mandir wala kona.” However, it was one response shared by a young woman which quietly shifted the mood in the room: “ghar ka koi kona pasand nahi hai.” Several other young women echoed this thought, and even during moments that turned tense, there was a sense that this was all part of everyday life—roz roz ki baat—something so familiar that even heavier thoughts were met with casual laughter.
But the conversation was never really about physical corners alone. The question was meant to understand where young women feel emotionally safe - where they feel less watched over, less judged, and more like themselves. While some corners brought temporary relief, many young women shared that for them the real safe space is with “friends and sisters,” where they feel heard and can speak openly without fear of judgement.
A phrase that repeatedly came up was, “Badi ho gayi ho.” However, this statement often comes with restrictions rather than freedom. When young women are seen as “grown up,” they begin to face increased pressure around marriage, household responsibilities, and limitations on mobility. At the same time, there is a contradiction that they are considered mature enough to take on responsibilities, yet too young when it comes to making decisions about their own lives.
Social pressure, often expressed through “log kya kahenge,” continues to shape their choices around education, work, and independence. Concerns around safety also tend to place the burden on young women themselves. Restrictions are imposed on where they go, how long they stay out, or who they speak to, instead of addressing the conditions that make public spaces unsafe in the first place. Care and control often become deeply intertwined, with restrictions justified in the name of protection and safety. This makes it difficult for young women to question these boundaries, because any resistance is often labelled as disrespect, carelessness, or a rejection towards the family.
Despite these challenges, there is a strong sense of aspiration among these young women. They want to study, work, travel, become independent, and have a say in decisions that affect their lives. Many are already taking small but significant steps like negotiating with their families to pursue education and continue jobs, speaking up against harassment, and building support systems among peers.
Their demands are clear - they seek choice, freedom, safety, and trust. Young women are not just searching for a safe corner within their homes, but for a world where they don’t have to struggle for space at all. Perhaps ‘Ghar ka koi bhi kona pasand nahi aana’is less about disliking the space itself, and more about whether young women are allowed to claim that space with freedom, respect and choice.
Written by - Radhika J